9.17.10

Raunt

Fashions that instill fear. I just figured this out during a conversation yesterday. The guy-fashion where waistlines are down below or at the bun-level? Well, it's not that I don't like it, it's that it s c a r e s me. Seeing guy after guy walking around "on the verge" of a) getting a snuggy-prank played on him, or b) dropping drawers and tripping while crossing a street, or c) letting the world know that no bleach has ever touched his tidy-whities ... well, it's just too much to bear. I have FEAR. And I hate that.

Rave

Coincidences. Like when you're thinking about someone, and then they call you. Or you really need french fries and you see that there's a McD's up ahead. Or you're planning on buying Puff's Plus (with Aloe) because you have a really, really sore nose (and toilet paper now hurts) and you see that Walgreen's has a special on Puff's and there's a coupon in the paper, too. BINGO! A co-coincidence! Love that. So I was particularly pleased when a nephew of mine, who shall remain nameless (kinda), recognized on an overseas flight that, coincidentally, the seat letters above him on the luggage rack matched his initials perfectly. Yup! JHG. Just sittin' there. Flying around the world, and coincidentally, sitting in his very, own monogrammed row. Love that!

9.16.10

Raunt

The building has all the requisites of a great aunt. She is neither very pretty nor elegant, but she has enduring qualities of character.

- Richard Oulahan, Writer

Rave

Sólo una tía puede dar abrazos como una madre, guardar secretos como una hermana, y compartir el amor como un amigo.


Only an Aunt can give hugs like a mother, keep secrets like a sister, and share love like a friend.
- Spanish Proverb

9.15.10

Raunt

Feel-like-a-criminal email warnings. We get them on occasion from business partners who are, I'm assuming, under strict orders-from-above to protect company interests. Even more annoyingly, we receive them completely in no-fault mode via "forward" or >>>forward. But honestly, when I read this scary message, I just want to run to the nearest courthouse and turn myself in before the baddies come calling! I'm wondering if anyone actually 'notifies the sender'? Not me, 'cause then "they'd" know that I know a no-no. No way! Hate these.

This communication, including attachments, is for the exclusive use of addressee and may contain proprietary, confidential and/or privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient, any use, copying, disclosure, dissemination or distribution is strictly prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail, delete this communication and destroy all copies.

Rave

Karaoke cars. I just so love it when I'm driving, do the "mirror, blinker, blind" before merging, and notice that my car-neighbor is having an all out karaoke contest with their sweet'selves. Kind of a cross between television, working out, and neighborhood bar entertainment. Look! Listen! Feel the vibes! Rock on, people. Rock on. Love you! Just keep one hand on the wheel, please, during air guitar or Phil Collins drumming segments.

Oh, you know who you are!

09.14.10

Raunt
Pooper Snoopers. I have a dog, I walk my dog, my dog poops, I pick it up. I do not watch while my dog poops. (As far as I know, my dog doesn’t watch me during calls of nature, either.) Driving home tonight, I counted how many humans were watching their canines do-the-doo-doo, because it was something to do while waiting for stop lights to turn green. Out of 17 dogs being walked, 8 were—ya’know—and 7 of those 8 had pooper snoopers. Humans! Do you seriously have nothing better to do than snoop while your canine poops? Privacy, please!

Rave
Cashiers who don’t use the ‘auto’ function to determine how much change ya’get back. There’s just something that’s darn fun about being able to see if both of you are ‘right!’ during a cash transaction. Today, I made a $25.38 purchase and gave the cashier $26.03. Not on purpose, really, I just had the three cents and wanted to move it on out, so I thought (quickly), “Hey! If I give her 3 cents she can give me back a nickel.” Yeah, kind of pathetic, but also kind of cool when she promptly returned, with no help from the cash register, two quarters, one dime and ONE NICKEL. No pennies back. Whee! Free to be, penny free! Oh, and yeah, the point, apparently we both passed our second grade change assignment. Click here to learn more about pennies!

9.13.10

Raunt
Shrinky-dink shirts. What is with shirts: t-shirts, knit tops, blouses, etc. shrinking in length disproportionately to width? It's 2010, clothing designers. Wake up and change the cotton! For the love (as a niece sez), I need, and typically purchase, tops in the 24"-26" length (shoulder seam to hem). Over not-quite-a-year, they do the shrinky-dink to somewhere between 21"-23" long. Those few inches are vital to me, and to a lot of women (and men) I know. 3-6" of tummy area typically can't forgo adequate coverage. And g*d forbid you get 'the draft' affect ... feeling cool breezes in your belly button where no breezes have gone before (or well, it's been a while). Bad shirts. Bad. Hate shrinky-dink shirts! 


Rave
Teachers who assign self-portrait collages. While at a family gathering, I had the good luck to stumble upon a nephew's self-portrait collage that was drying in a very logical, but harrowing, place: the upstairs hallway (in the breeze of the bathroom's open window so it would dry faster). No damages to report from my feet so he won't have to use the ever-so-cheesy excuse, "My aunt stepped on my homework." tomorrow. You think you know a kid, and then you see, in fabulous advertising type, the word PANCAKE about 3 inches tall and you realize, "gee, I thought this was a cereal kid." Then, you see a big can of dog food, no fewer than four baseball players, and a bottle of Purex. You also realize that, wow! he's an animal lover (knew), baseball fanatic (knew), and he has parent-sympathy for having to do so much laundry (didn't know). RAVE! you learn from this collage and thus have a new-something to ask about the next time you see him so you're not relegated to the #1 most boring question: 'so, how's school going?'. Love that!

9.12.10

Raunt

Mosquitoes. Seriously. In my house. From my pets? From holes in the screens? From the grim reaper? I dunno, but this year has been a killer (no pun intended) for them. At this count, I can *see* 17 bites on me. Being a "svingle" [savvy single ... LOL], there may be others I can't see due to unviewable thus unmentionable locations. Anyhow, hate'em. Regardless of the fact they feed birds and bats.

Rave

Dishwashers. LUV! Woke up this a.m. and, in my glam-jams, simply unloaded wine glasses, plates, silverware, and serving dishes (for 8) that served dinner party fare last night. Approximately 4 minutes and voila! all clean again. Doing my glam-jam research [you know, hard work i-net surfing], I found out that the dishwasher was invented by Josephine Cochran. Love her!